


Sunshine

by Mars00135



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU-Space, Action in Space, Action/Adventure, Aerospace Engineer Daichi, And the drama, And the peril!, Astronomy, Biochemist Kuroo, Bioengineer Oikawa, Bromanace, Communications Expert and Engineer Sugawara, Communications Specialist Aihara, Computer Analyst Akaashi, Computer Science Professor Kiyoko, Dark Matter Matters, Drama in space, Estranged Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut but later on, Everyone is out of college, F/M, Geochemist Michimiya, Geochemist/Planetologist Sasaki, Get ready for the feels, I will always blame SimplyTsun, It's Time To Talk Nerdy Baby, Kinesiologist Hinata, M/M, Mission Analyst Keishin, Modern Setting, Nerdy Fic Is Nerdy!, Not all the characters go to space, Nuclear Engineer Hanamaki, Nuclear Engineer Iwaizumi, Original Characters - Freeform, Orthopedic Surgeon Kageyama, Physicist Hanamaki, Physicist Matsukawa, Physics, Pilot Daichi, Pilot Major Iwaizumi, Psychologist Tsukkishima, Realistic-ish Science because Space is unpredictable, Research Specialist Matsukawa, Robotic Engineer Kenma, Robotic Engineer Nishinoya, Robotics Engineer Bokuto, Romance, Romance In Space, SPACE IN SPACE!, Sci-Fi, Set in modern times but with a few changes, Slow Burn, Some Characters Are Gonna Die So Consider Yourself Warned, Sorry Not Sorry, TO SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!, University Soccer Coach Tanaka, Well Chica and her friend, Ya'll can thank Chicalatina for this fic, Youth Counselor Asahi, dark energy, everyone is aged up, present day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-07-01 16:38:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars00135/pseuds/Mars00135
Summary: Every time I close my eyes, it's always the same. It starts with the sun then goes to black.Mankind is fast outgrowing the Earth. With the rapid and unchecked advancement of technology and new understanding of nuclear physics which has allowed humans to harness the power of nuclear fusion, humanity has spread--establishing colonies of scientists and scholars on the moon, Mars, Ceres, and Ganymede along with outpost stations between the inner planets. Their purpose: to assist with the progression of the human race and advance our endeavors made in space exploration. Among them is Toru Oikawa, lead bioengineer for the Icarus project...**This is a love story entangled with my obsession for all things space with more adventure and drama than necessary. For those of you who are returning readers of mine, you know the drill.**





	1. Transmission

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chicalatina449](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicalatina449/gifts).



_"Come on Iwa-chan! We're gonna miss it if you don't peddle faster!" Oikawa shouted with a stupid grin slathered across his face._

_"Slow down Shittykawa," Iwaizumi called from just a few feet back--his brow beaded with sweat and his face crumpled with exhaustion. "If you keep going like that you're gonna crash and bust your knees up like last time."_

_"I'll be fine even if I get hurt. Just hurry up or we'll miss it!"_

_"Damn idiot," he muttered under his breath as he fought to keep pace with the overly excited ball of energy ahead of him. "I swear if he gets hurt..."_

_Taking the next turn hard, the tires of their bikes screeched and Oikawa's anxious laughter echoed through the humid summer air as they raced along the coast--fighting time as their legs pushed them to go faster. They'd never been so excited about anything in their lives. Even volleyball was less than a flicker of a thought compared to the wonder they were about to behold. It was just a shame that their fathers couldn't get them front row tickets to the launch. Though it was understandable since both men could lose their jobs if they allowed the boys into mission control._

_Pushing on the peddles harder as he rose in his seat--wind blowing through his cinnamon hair with the sun beating down on him--Oikawa's smile grew more brilliant as he caught sight of the JAXA launch pad a mile or so away. It was massive. As large as a grand fortress with all the pomp and circumstance expected of a modern forerunner in space exploration, it was a hive of activity with men and women running around doing their final checks on both the crew and ship itself._

_At the center of it all, strapped to the back of a massive booster rocket with two twin external fuel tanks was the indomitable ISS-J-Chiheisen. The first of her kind, she would be the largest ship ever launched into space after that afternoon. More technologically advance than her peers in any other space-faring nation, the Chiheisen was to be the first to not only test the new Oxygen replenishment systems pioneered by Japanese scientists, but it was also the forerunner for creating artificial gravity in space. Yet, most importantly to both the young men as they leapt from their bikes--ditching them in the grass as they ran towards the wired boundary fence, was that both their fathers were the masterminds behind the ships most prized cargo._

_Fingers gripping the fence with electric excitement coursing through them, they mouthed along as the count down began--the automated voice echoing across the launchpad as the closeout crews scrambled to seal the main module with the mission team inside. At two minutes, the asphalt carpet beneath the hulking ship was doused with over fifteen thousand gallons of water to deflect the colossal percussion wave that would bounce off the ground when the engines roared to life. One minute and twenty seconds the catwalks detached and all personnel made it into their secured locations. At forty-nine seconds the dampeners were opened and the engines were primed. Eyes wider than the moon with their shoulders pressed together as they watched, Oikawa and Iwaizumi could feel their hearts stop as the final moments were counted down._

_Ten._

_"Chiheisen for mission control, we are ready for launch," spoke Mission Commander Ai Miyamoto over the comms._

_Nine._

_Eight._

_"Mission control for Chiheisen, we read you loud and clear. Proceed with the final hold, over."_

_The first spark fluttered inside the main rockets with a flash exiting the boosters. "Chiheisen for mission control. Copy that. Engines are firing up."_

_"Roger. Good luck and God speed Commander."_

_Seven._

_Six._

_Oikawa instinctively reached for Iwaizumi's shirt sleeve, gripping it tight as his breath caught in his lungs._

_Five._

_Four._

_Iwaizumi quickly glanced to the side--smiling when he saw the childlike wonder on Oikawa's face. He was so easily excited but, for once, his enthusiasm was warranted._

_Three._

_Two._

_Spark flooded the engine funnels and sprayed the ground beneath them as if a slumbering dragon had been awakened within the ship. Plumes of white smoke billowed upwards to engulf the tarmac, the rigging, and the lower half of the ship like the mighty column of Vesuvius before it destroyed Herculaneum and Pompeii._

_One._

_Then like magic, the ship that was as large as a high-rise lifted from the ground as the earth shook beneath it._

_"We have lift-off!" Mission control cheered as Chiheisen soared into the sky climbing higher and higher, eclipsing the sun for a blink of a moment as it raced toward the stratosphere._

_Together, Iwaizumi and Oikawa cheered and jumped and pumped their fists toward the sky shouting their words of encouragement to the team inside the rocket knowing full well that the astronauts onboard could not hear them. Yet still, it did not stop them. Nothing could. This was the single greatest moment in all of human history. Those thirty men and women on the Chiheisen would not only be the first Japanese astronauts on the moon but the first humans to colonize it. In the following months, they'd be accompanied by the Americans, the French, and the Russians, and within six years, they'd have the new Atlas base up and running while scientists from across the globe pulled together to set up outposts on Mars and Ceres. It was ambitious; true. But that was all part of being human. Never knowing when to quit._

_"Did you see that?!" Oikawa beamed as he combed his hands through his hair, legs trembling beneath him as he buckled with eyes stuck to the ship. "Holy shit, I can't believe it. It actually flew! Iwa-chan, they did it! It flew!"_

_"Yeah," Iwaizumi mused as he watched the ship sail nearly out of sight; his eyes straining now to see it past all the sunlight. "It's crazy."_

_"One day I'm going to go up there with them," the brunette vowed as he stood up straight--his relaxed form leaning gently against his friend. "You'll come with me, right?"_

_It wasn't even a question for Iwaizumi as he turned his head and smirked. "Like I would let you go alone."_

_"Together then. We'll both make history, just like our dads."_

_"Yeah," he breathed--skin burning hot beneath the spot where Oikawa's hand sat on his shoulder. "Together."_

\-------------------------------

Lashes fluttered open with a drawn out groan as Oikawa rolled onto his side. Flashing in soft neon blue on the smooth white wall to his immediate left was the embedded alarm he had set along with the reminder to do his morning stretches and jog around the residential district. Hand lifting from the cushy mattress, his fingertips brushed the hologram just enough to shut the alarm off before it could annoy him any further. But rather than getting up to start his daily routine he instead remained there, staring blankly at the wall screen on which the indoor temperature, time, time back in Japan, and solar output were displayed.

It had been years since he had last dreamt of the day the Chiheisen launched. _'It's been over twenty years since then. Why am I dreaming about it now?'_ Lying there, he rolled onto his back, closed his eyes, and listened to the faint pings from the solar meter on the other side of his room. If he were back home in Japan, the birds would be chattering like mad outside his bedroom window on the second floor of his house. There'd be dogs barking in the distance, the neighbors fat calico licking its pudgy stomach on the wooden fence connecting their properties, and children riding their bikes through the neighborhood on the way to school. And hour later, the trash truck would come by with its driver shouting at his partner to hurry up with loading the back. Oikawa would then groan, cover his head with his pillow, and whine as his shiba inu Ai licked his foot dangling off the side of the bed.

If he were back home it would be like any other Friday morning. He'd make himself a light breakfast, go on his morning run, shower, go to the market by himself, pick up some groceries, maybe swing by the convenience store and say hi to old man Ukai, maybe annoy his sister Yuri if she was home. Chances are she wouldn't be nor would Chihiro since school was starting and she would have no time to visit home being the busy grad student she had made herself out to be. He'd likely just spend some time with his mother and father before heading home where he'd then confine himself to his study to work on the lab results he got back from the guys back in Tokyo.

It'd be different than now but the same because he would be alone. _'Maybe that's why I dreamt about the Chiheisen,'_ Oikawa pondered quietly. Perhaps he was tired of being alone. Despite having the opportunity to work alongside his friends from both his high school and university years, there would always be something missing. A piece of him that could never be restored because he had so stupidly cut it free from him four years ago. Now they were nothing more than acquaintances--just ships passing in the night with barely enough light to make out each others faces as they sailed through the recesses of one another's minds. He had no one to blame but himself. It was all his doing after all. He had been too selfish. Lashed out when the other party reacted in defense. So now here he was...alone.

Oikawa could feel his chest tighten as images--silent films of his past--flickered before his eyes. Happier days that had long since passed and were now stored in the dusty halls of his subconscious. That smile he had once loved. That laugh the used to fill his heart with such joy. Those eyes... _'Idiot, pull yourself together,'_ he chided himself as the brunette dragged himself from the warm comfort of his bed. There wasn't any use in thinking about the past. He could mope and worry about that later before he went to bed or maybe during his bath after work. But right now he had a schedule to keep and a job to do.

"Alright, time to get up," he heaved as he got up and took off his t-shirt as he headed toward the bathroom.

Stepping into the shower as the automatic glass door opened, Oikawa turned the water on just as the music came on. If there was one thing he loved about the residential suites on the lunar base it was the lightning fast interface that was aware of all his living likes and dislikes, what kind of music he prefered listening to in the morning verses in the afternoon and at night, and the way it tracked his health--letting him know which muscle groups he was overworking and those that needed added attention along with any medical concerns that needed to be kept in check such as his tricky knee.

Briefly drying his hair with the towel, the brunette slipped into his running shorts, a silver lightweight jacket over his t-shirt and his trusty Nike FlyTec shoes. He'd had them since his college years when the company picked him as the face for their new line. And while the shoes he began to lace up were over eight years old they still fitted like a dream and felt as good as the day he got them. Designed with his needs in mind and added cushion in the arch and balls of his feet to absorb the shock whenever he jumped high or landed hard, they were one of his most prized possessions.

Pausing at the bedroom door, he grabbed his tracker watch from the dishy sitting on the small table by the entrance as well as a frayed leather bracelet with a little metal peace sign medallion attached to the center. As he tapped the toes of his shoes to the ground to makes sure they were on tight Oikawa pushed his wireless earphones into his ears then started with his stretches. After warming up he began his run--typing his start time into the watch so that it could track him and match it against his previous run times. Hanging a right, he bolted past 4325 Estell Ave. Normally Sugawara would be waiting for him at the door since they were running buddies but something must have happened because the guy wasn't anywhere to be seen. 

_'Wait, wasn't it Daichi's day off yesterday?'_ He recalled as the pieces fell into place. _'Makes sense now. Poor Suga, he must be exhausted.'_

Chuckling to himself, Oikawa sailed past their place and continued on his run. As much as he liked having someone to exercise with he wasn't about to intrude on Sugawara and Daichi's first morning together since God knows when. Those guys were always working, even back home in Japan they were constantly going whether it be a conference, an engineers summit in some other country, or taking care of their twin son and daughter. It was any wonder how they had the time to sleep, let alone eat and take care of their own personal health. So Oikawa let them be while hoping that those two knuckleheads knew to keep the noise down as a courtesy for their neighbors. He had learned firsthand how rowdy they could be when he was their across-the-hall neighbor in college during grad school. Thank goodness he lived on a separate block from them now. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Daichi groaned as the alarmed sounded from the system in the wall less than half a foot away from his ears. It wasn't loud enough to be considered blaring. However, after spending the night the way he had coupled with the minimal amount of sleep both he and his partner had gotten, it was understandable that he'd be slightly irritated--only slightly. With a grunted "hmph" he swatted at the wall before his hand made contact with the digital surface and turned off the shrieking alarm. Sighing blissfully, he rolled back onto his side, wrapped his arms around his lovers warm form, and nuzzled his face into the mans silvery hair with eyes closed and a small smile painting his face.

"Daichi," Sugawara murmured from where he laid, hidden against Daichi's chest. "Which alarm was that?"

"Why?"

"Babe..."

"The third, I think. It's too early to get up so forget it."

"If it's the third alarm then that means it's nine-thirty."

"So?" the brunette protested with a frown peppering his tone. He didn't want to get up yet. Wanted to spend just a few more minutes in bed with Suga. "Please Koushi? It's our first morning together in God knows how long. Just five more minutes."

"You've had fifteen extra minutes Daichi," Sugawara laughed to himself as his husband rolled them over so that he was pinned between the groggy brunette and the bed. Carding his fingers affectionately through the short silky chestnut hair, his other hand smoothed up the flawless skin of the mans back then back down making long lazy circles and figure eights. "You can be such a kid sometimes, you know."

"Only with you baby," Daichi smiled against the warmth of Sugawara's chest before placing a petal soft kiss to the patch above the mans heart. "We haven't had an opportunity like this since our last night back home on Earth. Either you're working later hours in the lab or I get called out to fix or install something on one of the nearby stations."

"I know but that's kind of our job."

"Yeah, I get that but just let me be a little selfish. Just this once?"

Looking down, he couldn't deny the quiet plea in Daichi's deep earthen brown eyes. "Fine," he conceded almost as if in surrender. Laughing as Daichi held him tighter while blanketing every available patch of milky skin with kisses, Sugawara squirmed in the mans firm grasp. "H-hey," he beamed as the kisses trailed down from his chest to his hips. "Babe we don't have t-time for that. Hey, watch it," he flinched as the man nipped at the beauty mark on his right hipbone.

"You sure you want me to stop?" Daichi teased with a coquettish smirk before kissing the mark once more. "Your hips seem to want me to keep going."

"Keep at it and I'll have to _gently_ remind you of what happens when you make us late for work in the morning."

Catching the tone in his lovers voice without missing a beat Daichi curbed his enthusiasm though not without reluctance. They really didn't have much time to themselves these days. When they were on base at Atlas it was work, work, work. When they were back home in Japan, they divided themselves between work, taking care of their two kids, and helping with research from sister labs across the globe. Sugawara was constantly traveling from one conference to another since he had been one of the founding members of the team that had created the new transmission system that could send and receive signals from the edge of the solar system in less than a month. Something about flipping a certain equation and keeping space as the constant while time and light were in flux. _'He's almost as busy as Oikawa is these days,'_ Daichi thought to himself as his eyes drooped shut--loving the way Sugawara's fingers felt as they combed through his hair.

He loved it anytime part of his partner was touching him. It was the greatest feeling in the world; the sensation of his soft silky skin smoothing over him and those attentive gentle hands seeking out any discomfort in his partners body that needed to be dispelled. It was like magic; something that no amount of science could explain. This strange chemistry that had bound them together at an early age before they even knew what greater forces were at work now had a name and made itself known in every moment they shared. Each breath, peaceful sigh, flick of the eyes, and quirk of their lips communicated this yearning to the other. It had taken them years to learn the language though and even longer to understand that they could never perfect it and that that was okay.

Reaching up from where he was nestled against Suga's stomach, Daichi took his husband's hand in his, kissed the palm and then the platinum band on his ring finger. It was less of a ritual and more of a habit he had formed over the years. Even before there was a ring there he would kiss that finger in particular almost as in promise. He had started doing it during their first year at university. They had a nasty falling out months after graduating high school and had nearly broken up but Sugawara had forgiven Daichi for his blunder. He always forgave him; it was just in his nature despite how strict he could be at times. The following morning, he woke up with his hand clasping Suga's on the pillow between them. That's when the habit started. It was a reminder to never take that man for granted ever again. _'Never again...'_

"Alright, it's been more than ten minutes hun," Sugawara spoke softly before closing the space between them and kissing the crown of Daichi's head. "We really got to get up now."

"'Kay," Daichi smiled as he lifted his head and kissed Sugawara sweetly on the lips. "I love you."

Kissing him back, Suga returned the smile with his own. "I love you too."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It still felt too early despite the time being half past twelve. Coffee in hand as he walked into the lab, Oikawa yawned with a roll of his head from one side to the other. Jerking his chin in hello to his colleagues, he sat down at his desk opposite of Kuroo who was already bobbing his head to the music pulsing through his headphones. Dissimilar to Oikawa, he woke up using a cold shower and loud music to help drag him from the hazy depths of his dreams. That and he had an added boost of motivation since his fiance would be arriving at the base in a couple hours when Staff Group C-1 came to takeover for Staff Group D-3 who would be leaving Atlas for their six month mandated leave.

Oikawa couldn't help but feel some pity for the guy. Most couples were put on the same staff grouping so that they would go up to the base together and then be sent home together. Sugawara and Daichi were both in A-2 with three more months on their stay before they were replaced by Staff Group B-4. Hinata and Kageyama were also blocked together even though they were only dating. _'I wonder when Tobio's finally gonna put a ring on that guy,'_ Oikawa mused as he logged in then scanned his right index finger and thumb to get into his classified files on the server. _'They've been together for how many years now? Whatever, it's not really any of my business to begin with.'_ But then there were times when the stars didn't metaphorically align and couples were divided into separate service blocks. Sadly this was case for Kuroo and his dear Kei.

Slipping a pair of smooth silver noise cancelling shells over his ears, he cracked his fingers and got to work unraveling over thirty separate strands on genetic coding that had come back from their sister labs in Tokyo and Osaka. A moment later, when he decided he couldn't listen to the sound of his own breathing for another second, the brunette turned on the music feature--taking less than a minute to pick a song. "This Is America" by Childish Gambino had been stuck in his head for days and it was the only thing he could listen to when he was in the lab and the gym. He had never lived in the States; had studied there for a few months during grad school but the experience was enough to leave a lasting impression on him. Occasionally he would switch over to something more "calm" and "soothing" but, for the most part, this was what he needed. He needed something disruptive and chaotic to distract him from the daily grind and keep him on track. It was similar to what he did back in high school when he had to get into the zone for a game. The only difference now were the songs he listened to.

"..Kawa," called a familiar voice but it didn't reach Oikawa. There came a tap at the brunette's shoulder before one of the shells was removed from the brunette's ears. "Oi, Toru, turned these down!" Shinji scolded his old friend but there was little malice in it or bite.

"Sorry, I was concentrating on the files sent over from GEA. What's up?"

Shinji stared at him for a long moment looking more confused than Oikawa did before he spoke. "Wait, you didn't hear?"

"Clearly Shinji, I had my--"

"No, I don't mean what happened just now. Weren't you told about the service block swap happening today?"

"Yeah, group C-1's coming to swap out with D--"

"Not that either."

"Could you stop cutting me off mid sentence? It's rude and starting to irk me."

"Sorry but it's kinda important."

Watching his expression for a moment--scrutinizing what the pinching between Shinji's brow could possibly mean--Oikawa looked around to see if anyone else was paying attention to their conversation before he let go of a sigh. If there was one thing their long friendship had taught him it's that the guy wouldn't drag him away from his work without a reason and he definitely wouldn't have that kind of look on his face if it wasn't important.

"Fine. Do you want to talk here or outside?"

"Where are you more comfortable?"

That was a weird question. "Let's go to the hall by the supplies room."

Nodding, Shinji followed Oikawa's lead. smile on and facade unreadable, the brunette excused himself--telling his colleagues he'd be back in a moment after he spoke with his friend. When Kuroo raised his head and asked if everything was fine, Oikawa just reasserted that everything was fine--that he was fine--and they'd "be back in a jiffy." It was classic him. Telling others that he was fine. That nothing was wrong even though he woke up feeling less than stellar that morning and was too nauseous to stomach his breakfast. It was why he hadn't touched any of the pastries in the lab's breakroom on his way in. And something--perhaps the same gut instinct that had sickened him that morning--told Oikawa that this wasn't going to be a very pleasant conversation.

"Okay Shin," he said as they turned down into the quiet side hallway that the supplies room was attached to. "What is it?"

"I take it you didn't hear about Lev asking to take his leave early."

"What? No," Oikawa said, suddenly thrown off by the news. It wasn't that he was the best of friends with the guy but they had grown close during their time as grad students suffering in their universities library together. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. His sister Alisa was in an accident and broke an arm and leg. She's as upbeat as ever but he was really worried so he requested a premature swap so that he could be with his family."

"Okay. Well thank you for telling me but..." the brunette paused, his eyes narrowing faintly as he analyzed what could possibly be going on. "Shinji, what else is there? You didn't drag me out here just to tell me about Alisa's accident and Lev leaving early." Oikawa watched as the man fidgeted in place, gnawing on the inside of his cheek while avoiding eye contact with him. "Please. If it's this important you have to say something."

"It's his replacement," Shinji sputtered out. Sighing, he looked down while rubbing the back of his neck--the other hand shoved into the pocket of his lab coat as he muttered the word "fuck" under his breath. "Who else do you know that works with nuclear reactors man?"

Not another word needed to be spoken as the space around them began to sway and all the blood rushed from Oikawa's face. _'Please, not him,'_ he begged whoever was listening as the screaming in his head cursed whichever asswipe of a God had concocted this scheme. It had been four years since he had last seen that man. Four years since he had last had his heart ripped out. Four years since he heard the person he held dearest bitterly ask "did our love mean so little?" Why was this happening? Why now? Why couldn't they find someone else to fill Lev's spot? Why, of all people on that God forsaken planet, did it have to be _him_?! What about any of this was fair? Hadn't they suffered enough. They had paid their dues, learned their lesson, and parted ways with only scars left behind to remind them that they had been together at all. So why? Why was he coming to Atlas when he knew that was Oikawa's main hub for his research?

"Thanks for letting me know Shinji," Oikawa said with a soft barely there smile. Looking up, he steeled himself when he saw how concerned his friend was. "I'll be fine. It doesn't bother me anymore."

"You sure?"

Of course he wasn't sure but there wasn't any way he would let Shinji--or anyone else for that matter--know. "Really. It's nothing Shin. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get back to those files."

"If you say so."

"Stop worrying so much Shinji. You'll get wrinkles long before it's your time if you get worked up over the smallest things."

"Whatever you say Toru." Parting ways at the end of the hall, Shinji turned and added, "Let me know if you need someone to talk to 'kay?"

"Sure thing Shin."

Boring holes into his former captains' back as he disappeared down the hall, Shinji frowned. "Liar."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Iwaizumi didn't know if the sight of Earth shrinking away beneath him would ever get old or run its course and become just like every other view. There was some bizarre enchantment at play inside him as he watched the planet he had been born on, raised on--knew to be his only home--drifted away though never completely out of sight. Like a sapphire marble stained with emerald green and swathed in patches of milky white, it hung in the vast silence of space--the calm black velvet dotted with distant stars further enhancing the planets' beauty.

Quietly, he sat there thinking of nothing with his peridot eyes fixed on the Earth as she slowly spun beneath them. He didn't know why he volunteered to start his service period on Atlas early. Couldn't quite pin down what had compelled him to do such a thing when he still had things that needed to be done back home. With two months left of vacation, Iwaizumi had planned to spend it with his family travelling through Europe since his grandfather was finally well enough to travel by plane. But oddly enough and for reasons he couldn't explain his hand shot up first when his division director asked which member of his team would be okay with ending their rest term early. 

It didn't even make sense since all four of the members in his crew were nuclear engineers or physicists that had sub-specialized in engineering. He could have passed it up. Could have allowed someone else to head up early while he took the rare opportunity to enjoy a vacation with his entire family rather than just his parents. But no, his body moved on its own and raised that arm up higher than it should have been. Perhaps he was subconsciously seeking an answer to the dreams he'd been having for the past few weeks. A smiling face and bubbling laughter that felt all too familiar accompanied by a blossoming warmth in his chest that started at his heart and spread like wildfire. It reminded him of something he used to wake up to years ago; a hazy memory that clung to the rafters in his mind--choosing to linger with the stars and comets rather than blessing him with clarity.

The ship docking shook Iwaizumi free from his thoughts; the sound of the cabin pressurizing and the engine winding down filling his ears as he stood to retrieve his carry-on from the overhead luggage compartment. Glancing around, he took in the faces of the service group that had been called up for work. _'They must be block C-1 since Kei and Kenma are here,'_ he thought when he spotted the familiar set of blondes. And if they were only just arriving then that must mean Kuroo, Daichi, and Suga were already there. But there was something else he was forgetting. The face that he couldn't quite make out in his dreams... That person was here too. Iwaizumi didn't know why but his gut told him they were there.

Following the procession of scientists, doctors, engineers, psychologists, teachers, physicians, nurses, and techs, Iwaizumi disembarked from the ship--wincing only a little as his ears popped from the pressure and altitude change. The first order of business was to get back to the townhouse, shower, eat and then sleep. Or maybe eat, shower, then sleep. He was too tired to keep his thoughts straight anymore but his priorities were as clear as ever. Finding the energy to actually follow through with them, now that was going to be tricky.

Laughing to himself as Kuroo jumped Tsukishima at the arrivals--kissing him excitedly as he crushed the stoic giant in his loving arms--Iwaizumi couldn't help but relate to the nauseous expression Kenma was wearing. Despite Kei's protests, everyone knew that those two were way too sweet on each other. It showed every time the tall blonde blushed at his fiance's antics. Thirteen years ago, that behavior would have never flown with Tsukki. But nowadays it was a different story. He was still a little punk and gave people the cold shoulder from time to time, but through his relationship with Kuroo, he had become friendlier-ish and less abrasive.

"Hey! Iwaizumi!" Daichi called from the other side of the arrivals port. He and Suga were waiting for him by luggage claim wearing their casual clothes. "Long time no see man."

 _'It must be their day off or something.'_ Iwaizumi thought as he smiled and headed over. "Hey guys, how are things? The family doing alright?"

"Yeah, everyone's good," Suga said with a gentle smile as he handed Iwaizumi the handle to his luggage. "The twins are starting the first grade next week. It's just sad that we can't be there with them."

"Whoa, first grade already?"

Daichi nodded. "Yeah, they grow up fast. I kinda wish they wouldn't because I feel like we're missing out on so much when we're up here."

"I'm sure they understand though," Iwaizumi assured. It wasn't as if he couldn't relate to how the kids felt though since he himself had often complained about his old man never being around because he was too busy with his rockets. But back then he had Oikawa to ease the pain of loneliness. "Anyway, let's get moving. I'm starving from the flight," he said hoping that his upbeat demeanor would chase away the sadness seeping from the old wounds that were trying to open back up.

"You're always hungry man," the brunette laughed as he hooked an arm around his partners waist. 

It was so sweet; so familiar and loving that it twisted the knife poking at Iwaizumi's heart. Had he ever been as happy as them? Had he ever known love like that? Part of him knew the answer yet the other half doubted itself. If they had been that happy and that in love then they would have still been together. _'If I had just paid enough attention...'_ But what was the use in thinking about such things now? Oikawa was gone and Iwaizumi was alone. He'd lost his pillar and the joy that came with it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was already late when Oikawa powered off his computer and leaned back in his chair to stretch his tired limbs that ached and whined from the strain. He had been staring at the screen in front of him for so long he had lost track of time, breaks, and his surrounding. Hell, he hadn't eaten since four-thirty and it was already eleven-fifty. _'Where did the time go?'_ Standing on tingling feet that raced to wake up in time to support his full weight, he blinked the fatigue from his hazy umber eyes.

Chances were that the food court in the service district was already closed since it was way past normal work hour. Perhaps one of the restaurants in the residential quarters was still taking pick-up orders. Lifting his wrist with his watch up, he swiped his finger across the screen twice to check which places were open. Naturally, Kopan Ramen, Kimukatsu, and Great India Cafe were all closed. It would figure since they were his favorites and today was just destined to get worse. However, Super Wok was still open and he could go for some barbecue pork bao and some chicken chow mein. Maybe also pick up some milk bread from the grocers on the way back as well.

Walking down the dimly light streets with the tree branches swaying as the artificial winds swept through, Oikawa let go of a yawn followed by a small quiet sigh. His brain had been all sorts of messed up since Shinji told him Iwaizumi would be arriving on base that afternoon. It took everything in him and more just to concentrate on his work and not let his mind wander off. _'Stupid Iwaizumi,'_ he sulked with a pang of frustration and anger. Didn't that blockhead understand that he had purposefully asked to be reassigned to service block A-1 just to escape him? Where was his sense of compassion and consideration? Oikawa thought that with the break-up hurting them both as badly as it had, Iwaizumi would do everything in his power to make sure their paths never crossed just as Oikawa had done. But it seemed as if he were wrong in his assumptions.

"Guess that's why they say never to assume," Oikawa murmured to himself as he entered the grocery store.

Picking up a basket, he meandered through the produce section on autopilot--grabbing plums, nectarines, pineapple, tomatoes, carrots, chives, and water spinach for some stir fry. He picked up his favorite gelato--sweet cream with chocolate swirl--milk, and cereal since he was almost out. It was still too warm for oatmeal since September had just started but he did decide to buy tofu for miso soup. Heading to the bakery, a small dreamy smile worked its way across his lips as the smell of fresh breads and sweets wafted through the air, assaulting his senses in a pleasant cornucopia of savory, salty, and sugary. Happiness growing as he grabbed a bag of warm fresh-out-of-the oven milk bread, Oikawa was about to call this night a victory when a shiver ran down his spine causing the breath to leave his lungs. Standing only a few feet away was a ghost.

Voice barely stronger than a whisper, his fingers trembled and lips quivered as he breathed.

"Iwai-chan..."


	2. Avenue of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION!!: Just a little PSA here to let you know ahead of time that one of the characters does have a stutter and that the dialogue you're reading is correctly written. This character is based off a real person who has the same stutter but is just as brilliant and has been a great mentor of mine. I hope you like them just as much as I do. Ciao!

Eyes trained on the corridor above him, Hanamaki pushed away from the ground--gliding swiftly through the tunnel. Unfastening his tether as he passed by airlock channel 46 he grabbed one of the hand bars and gave it a push to propel himself even further. Drawing closer to airlock 50 he curled into a ball then pressed both feet against the wall to his left. Shooting through the narrow corridor that was lined with red and blue guide lights, he outstretched his left hand--planting it firmly on the user recognition pad next to the chamber. Lights above the door flashing green, an automated voice welcomed him inside as the entrance hissed open.

"Ah, says uh it's uh good morning Dr. Makki," Dr. Fields greeted his young colleague as the doors closed behind Hanamaki. Dressed in his usual navy NASA crew neck t-shirt and navy joggers with his salt and pepper brown hair pulled into a ponytail, the good doctor shifted to the side so that they could both look out through the observation port. "I uh hope you uh slept well. We've got a long day ahead of us as you can see."

"So I've noticed," Hanamaki mused as he gazed up through the foot thick pane of radiation filtering glass separating them from the Hyperion Channel. "What's the output looking like?"

"There's been a fifteen percent increase in fusion with a particle collision rate increase of ten per square meter."

"So she's misbehaving."

"It would seem so. We uh says uh we don't know what is causing the unfacilitated fusion of these extra particles or how they got into the channel but uh we uh are looking into it. Tadashi Yamaguchi from the research and development team came by earlier and uh he uh ran some tests and pulled uh the code from the system to analyze it further at the lab."

Hanamaki was silent for a moment as he watched the firework-like sparks crackle in the collider, erupt like lightning through the compressed super heated air in the channel, then fizzle out before the next set slammed into each other with a muted boom. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Not at this rate at least. The fusion reactor should only be putting out seventy percent of the total energy used by the Atlas base--not eighty-five percent with a collision increase of ten per square meter. 

Technically, the Hyperion Channel could handle the sudden influx of energy. Built stronger than any nuclear reactor ever made with seven times the fortification, it was a behemoth of a creation--something that took nearly every physicist from JAXA and NASA to make. Hanamaki was almost certain it could withstand an even higher influx of energy without damaging the equipment. But that was only theoretical. It had never been tested before. At least not until that week it hadn't. Luckily, one of the lead engineers that had created the damn thing had returned to base just a few days ago.

"Has anyone called Iwaizumi?" Hanamaki asked, his voice as impassive as ever though tainted just barely with a hint of concern.

"We have and he should b--"

"Right here," Iwaizumi called as he glided in past the airlock. Taking hold of the grab bar, he lingered there observing the sporadic eruptions of energy before speaking. "There must be a seepage of hydrogen into the channel that's causing an upspike of fusion."

"And you know that how?" Hanamaki said, his words disbelieving and doubtful. They had worked together for many years--had known each other even longer--so Hana knew Iwaizumi was brilliant. However, to diagnose the problem within moments of arriving and without data backing his assumption...well that was just obscene.

The change of tone from his friend did little to phase Iwaizumi. "Look," he ordered with a finger and arm outstretched toward the viewing port. "Eruptions of fusion on the molecular scale shouldn't have enough bite to sustain a burst that long because the energy should die after the first few seconds following the impact. It's just long enough to collect the energy and store it in the power cells. However these bursts are lasting well over twenty seconds which means there's extra volatiles in the chamber. The only thing that could possibly cause a heat signature like this is hydrogen and lots of it. That's why the initial bursts are bluer than they are when they fade out."

Blinking once then twice as another flare scoured through the channel, Hanamaki groaned. "Damn it, I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"When you make it look so easy."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "I do _not_ make it look easy."

"Yeah, you kinda do," the man groused as he shifted back so that Iwaizumi could float past him and take control of the generator. "And here I thought it could have been an oxygen leak."

"It could very well be that and we'll have Tadashi run a scan on that just to make sure. I've been wrong before so who knows."

"He's uh says uh he's right Hanamaki," Dr. Fields interjected. "All things can be possible until deemed improbable. It's best to cover our uh bases and uh play this one safe. We'll request a full diagnostics scan on the system, every channel she uh says uh streams into and uh says uh every network that flows out. If there's an oxygen or hydrogen leak we'll find it."

"True. Thanks Dale."

"I'm only doing my job," he said with a pleasant smile before the communicator on his wrist pinged. Looking down, he arched a single brow. "It's uh looks like Dr. Loveridge needs my assistance in the downstairs lab. You gentlemen have a handle on things here?" They both nodded. "Alright, well then uh I'll uh see myself out. Try not to cause too much chaos while I'm gone because uh says uh you know, the universe staying in tact is an important thing."

"Sure thing dad," Iwaizumi teased. The man was one of the original designers and physicists responsible for creating the Atlas base and, over the years, they had grown exponentially close--their relationship resembling a father and son more than a boss and his colleague. "And don't you cause any trouble in the Matter Room."

"Not making any promises. Later."

And with that the airlock shut behind him and the chamber repressurized. Turning back to the task at hand with Hanamaki looking on from over his shoulder, Iwaizumi pulled up the interface code--the same coding he had inputted into the system ten years ago as a grad student fresh out of his bachelors program. It was no lie when his professors told him he was brilliant despite him asking them to keep those kind of comments to themselves. Regardless of how humble he may have been, Iwaizumi showed a talent for coding and physics early on in his life; it likely being the product of watching his father tinker with the computers in his lab so many times at work and at home.

Treating it like a three-dimensional puzzle of literal highways, freeways, streets lined with buildings and circuits as the lights, he could easily remember the code when comparing it to something so familiar. Streamlining the networks into something more akin to a roadmap, anyone could navigate the system with just a little bit of direction. It was why Iwaizumi's code was used as the foundation for every interplanetary base from Cronus and Prometheus on Ganymede and Mars to the colossal Dauntless Class space stations Venus Victrix, Pandia, and Ersa.

"That's weird," Iwaizumi paused midway through his typing. "There's a fraction of code missing."

"Could you have forgotten to input it?"

His brows furrowed as he shook his head. "No way. I wouldn't forget this. And it was working just fine the last time I was up here so it had to have been deleted recently. Who was the last engineer handling this station?"

"Lev."

"Lev?" Iwaizumi's disbelief was evident not only in his tone but the confusion was written all over his face. "There isn't a chance in hell he'd make a mistake like this."

"Well he was the last one manning this station."

Iwaizumi stared at the computer screen--the blinking cursor silently mocking him. "The fuck is going on...?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------

" _Hey there, you've reached the Oikawa's. We're not able to answer the phone right now so please leave a message after the beep..._ "

"Hey mom and dad, it's me Toru. I'm just calling to check in with you guys. It's been a while since I last sent a transmission home so yeah." Oikawa stared at the image of his family on the screen that had been set as their caller ID and smiled weakly. "I miss you guys. It feels like ages since I was last home. I think the last time I saw you it was for sis's birthday. I can't remember the last time I've had that much fun at the beach," he chuckled half heartedly; the smile not entirely reaching his eyes despite his trying. "But it's alright, you don't have to worry about me. My time on base is almost over so I should be back home by the end of the year. Hopefully I'll be there in time for Christmas and New Years so we can go to the temple together. Anyway, I'm signing off now. Give everyone my love okay and tell Takeru I'll be watching his game up here. Love you guys. See you in five months."

The screen dimmed as the recording session timed out and the transmission was sent to Japan. Quietly, Oikawa watched the progress bar on the monitor as it slowly filled up--his deep earthen eyes following it with little interest. Despite the chipperness in his message, he wasn't fine. Hadn't been for months but what did it matter. Work was work and he couldn't afford to be in a slump. Not right now when the entirety of the Icarus project rested on his shoulders.

Oikawa was used to the pressure. It was nothing new to him. He'd been the beast of burden before--voluntarily carrying the weight of his team in middle school then again in high school and onwards into college before his accident that busted his right knee. But even then, that didn't stop him. Didn't hinder him from, again, taking on more work than was necessary or stretching his hours in the lab well past the ten hour marker. All he did was work. From sun up to sun down, he lived, breathed, ate, and dreamed in calculations and formulas. If he didn't--if he stopped for even a moment, then he would remember. And that was something he could not allow.

" _Transmission complete_ ," the system announced; the progress bar pulsing blue on the monitor.

Removing his identification badge from the slot inside the server, he exited the communication booth--shoving both hands inside his pant pockets with little liveliness left in him after that charade he had just played. Eyes on the ground, Oikawa fought to collect his tangled mess of thoughts. Things hadn't exactly been great for a while now but they hadn't been terrible either. It felt as if he were drifting; coursing along aimlessly from one day to the next with nothing of importance there to entertain him. With only his friends and colleagues as company, he was often alone at night when everyone went home to their partners or spouses. 

Of all the people in his circle of friends, Oikawa was the only odd man out. After the break-up with Iwaizumi, things went dark. He couldn't hold down a relationship let alone find the motivation to care when his partner started drifting away. He hadn't felt a spark in years--not since the last happy night he and Hajime spent together. Bodies enveloping one another--their fingers woven together with Oikawa's back pressed snugly against his lovers bare chest, he could still feel the beating of Iwaizumi's heart, the warmth of his breath trailing down his neck, and the flick of his toes as they traced the sole of Toru's feet. He felt safe--happy in an almost absurd way because no one should be able to make another person feel the way Iwaizumi made him feel.

Stopping in place, Oikawa held his left hand in his right. He laced the fingers together the same way Iwaizumi would have, wrapping their pinkies around one another while his thumb smoothed circles into the top of his hand. ' _I still remember the day you got this scar_ ,' he could hear his ex's voice cooing from the memories he thought he had forgotten. The ghost of Iwaizumi's thumb swiping over the small scar on the knuckle of his index finger sent chills down his spine. ' _You were racing me up the stairs at that old shinto temple near the forest and tripped on a broken step_.' In the past, he could only laugh and retort with a snarky remark about how his feet weren't as big as Iwaizumi's. Now he wished he had taken more time to think his words through. Wished he had been more honest about how Iwaizumi made him feel when he talked like that. Wished he had smiled more genuinely, laughed more openly, and loved more boldly. But his pride wouldn't have any of that. It was too strong to break free from.

Still, even now, that was his weakest point--speaking his mind and saying exactly what he meant to say. It was so easy to fall into his old habits. Lying and telling the world that he was okay, that everything was fine when in fact it wasn't. He wore so many faces now that he had lost track of which was the real him and what ones were fake. Oikawa was anxious all the time but then again he wasn't at all. He was nervous, confident, sad, happy, lonely, but also content. There was so much missing and so many artificial emotions that had been added to fill the void that he couldn't tell them apart anymore. The longer he stayed on base, the worse it became. And now that was doubly true since Iwaizumi was back.

Hands trembling as he released an unsteady sigh, he raked his fingers through his hair, scratched at his scalp with eyes screwed shut, then brought them back down over his face. As much as his therapist said it was perfectly natural feeling the way he did, Oikawa hated this sense of helplessness and humanness. Everything seemed to roll right off his shoulders when he was younger. He never dwelled on anything for too long because it could distract him from what was yet to come. But now that he was an adult all he could do was fall into the pit of his own mind where these haunting notions of self-doubt and depreciation waited for him like ghosts hanging in the rafters of an age-ridden shrine.

"Oikawa," came a voice-- _the_ voice he had been both dreading and longing to hear.

Hands sliding down to rest on either side of his slim neck, Oikawa opened his eyes. "Iwaizumi," he spoke, the tremble of his voice nigh detectable. "I heard you'd been called up early."

Iwaizumi remained silent for a moment as he took in the sight of his ex-lover; a small smile forming when his eyes landed on his cinnamon hair. "You grew out your bangs."

The words were like a knife in Oikawa's chest. It was so like Iwaizumi to notice the little things. "I haven't had the time to get my hair cut so I guess they're a bit longer. I should get them trimmed soon anyways though."

"That's a shame. You always looked good when you grew out your hair."

"And why should I care what you think?" The question was sharp--accusatory. Eyes narrowing as he wiped out any feelings of excitement seeing Iwaizumi may have caused, Oikawa wore a scowl that didn't match the turmoil stirring within him. "What do you want? Last time I checked, you're apartment is on Estelle Lane."

"I wanted to take a walk."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason to walk around my neighborhood?" Iwaizumi countered; his frustration mounting at the sudden change of mood.

"You do when you suddenly show up out of nowhere after walking out on me the way you did."

"I didn't walk out on you."

"Yes you fucking did!" Oikawa snapped. Rage and anguish flaring, he felt his face go red with tears stinging the edges of his eyes. "That morning after our fight I woke up to an empty room. You _left_ without a fucking word Iwaizumi and don't you dare even try to deny it."

"That's not true."

"Yes it fucking is."

"No, it fucking isn't. I left a letter--five pages long, front and back--telling you why I was leaving, that I would come back, and that I didn't want to break up; that the night before was just us hitting another rough patch."

"Oh really? Well where the fuck was this letter because I didn't see one anywhere. I just saw empty drawers and my favorite picture of us missing. Real classy by the way, throwing that photo away. It really drove your point home."

Iwaizumi growled as he interjected, "I took that picture with me."

"Yeah, I know hence why it was missing."

If he could have gritted his teeth any harder he would have. However, the words hanging on the tip of Iwaizumi's tongue rolled back as a mother and her teenage daughter strolled by. Dropping his head down and shoving his hands into his coat pockets, he cleared his throat awkwardly as the women stared at them. Why did it always have to be like this between them when there was a miscommunication? What had happened to the days when they could talk to one another without raising their voices and shouting obscenities?

"I should go," Oikawa murmured when it was just them again.

"No, you should stay."

"Iwai--"

"Please, I don't want to leave things the way they are."

"But what if I do?"

"You don't mean that."

Oikawa choked on the air in his lungs when he saw the plea in Iwaizumi's eyes. "How do you know what I do and do not want? Who are you to have any say anymore?"

"I know because you're a shitty liar." Closing the distance between them until they were just a breath away, he whispered, "Your eyes were always more honest than your mouth."

A chill ran down his spine--whether it be from anger, fear, or arousal Oikawa didn't know. "Pervert."

"Liar."

"Stubborn asshole."

"Spoiled princess."

The air was still between them save for the wind that blew through rustling the leaves on the trees and the branches of the bushes and vines of roses creeping along the neighbors fence--petals falling from the blossoms as they shook.

"I don't blame you," Iwaizumi said, his voice low and fragile. "I'd hate me too and I do. But I had to leave. If you had read my note you would've known why."

Staring holes into him, Oikawa squared his jaw just to keep his lips from trembling. "Fine then, if you insist on saying you left a note then how about you tell me what you wrote? Say it, right here, right now what was so important that you had to pack up and leave in the dead of night after telling me the night before I'd be better off without you. If it's a valid excuse I'll forgive you. If not, you'll never speak to me again."

"Can we go inside first?"

"Why?"

"Because it's hard to say with an audience watching," Iwaizumi answered with a subtle jerk of his chin toward the kitchen window of the townhouse across the street in which he caught a man and woman staring curiously at them. "Please?"

Sighing with his eyes closed for a brief moment, Oikawa agreed though not without a hint of aggravation. Reaching for the keys to his townhome, he walked up the brick steps and unlocked the door. Waiting until Iwaizumi was inside, he hung his jacket on the coat rack as the auto lights slowly brightened. His heart raced and his throat tightened as his eyes traced Iwaizumi's path through the space. In the years since he had joined the Icarus program, not once had Oikawa invited someone into his home at the station. It was his island--his place of solitude where the world faded away and he was left with a bittersweet peace. No lover, colleague, or family member had been there. The only other person he shared this place with was Iwaizumi's ghost that came alive whenever he fell asleep and dreamt of the man he had left behind--the man that had broken his heart and was now standing in his living room.

Sitting on the edge of the couch hunched over with his elbows resting atop his legs--his left one shaking out of nervous habit--Oikawa fought to regain control of his words. "So," he rasped, "what was your reason for leaving?" Looking up through the veil of lashes that surrounded his tortured eyes, he stared down Iwaizumi. "It better be good."

Rather than speaking, Iwaizumi sighed through his nose then glanced to his left arm. Gaze flickering to Oikawa for a brief moment he turned back to his arm and began to roll up the sleeve of his charcoal grey henley until it was cuffed just below his elbow. As he did, Oikawa's eyes began to narrow and his brows furrowed when he saw the digital graph that spanned the length of his ex's forearm. It wasn't on so the paper-thin screen beneath the skin was in neutral mode--its color matching that of Iwaizumi's slightly copper skin. Pulling away a little when the man before him extended his arm, Oikawa arched a questioning brow.

"What?" he asked, almost afraid to see what came next. He knew what those kind of monitoring graphs meant and it was never good.

"Activate it and see for yourself."

For the briefest of moments, Oikawa hesitated. He had never been so afraid to touch Iwaizumi. Had never stopped himself from reaching out and brushing his fingers along that warm skin he had kissed, licked, and bit so many times before. Had never been so apprehensive because he--as a bioengineer--knew the numerous reasons someone would have a virtual monitor graphed to them; usually it wasn't by choice but because a doctor had ordered it. ' _No, noooo, this isn't good. Why is that on his arm?_ ' his mind roared with alarms blaring. Shaking gently, he reached up with his right arm so that the ID band encircling his wrist could access the graph. A dot in the top right of the graph blinked blue as the technology recognized the doctors code and granted him access.

Eyes blowing wide and lips parting with a gasp, Oikawa cradled Iwaizumi's arm in his hands as the man sat down on the coffee table across from him. On the screen of the virtual graph was the live animation of what was hidden beneath the skin. Muscles flexing with every twitch of Iwaizumi's fingers, tendons stretching and contracting, and blood cells flowing through his veins--blood cells that didn't look entirely normal. Squinting his eyes because he had forgotten his glasses at the lab, he leaned in closer. Staring harder at the cells, he pinched two fingers together, pressed them against the virtual panel and enhanced the picture. When the enlarged image cleared, Oikawa could have choked on his shock.

He couldn't look up; not for a while he couldn't. The surprise and devastation it brought was so intense that all Oikawa could do was stare at the blood as tears began to well in his eyes. It was one thing for Iwaizumi to walk out and leave him the way he had. It was quite another to do it while hiding something like this from him.

"Why?" Oikawa croaked as the tears fell; one hitting the part of the virtual graph with Iwaizumi's patient information. "Why didn't you tell me you had AML?"

Unable and unwilling to keep this painful space between them anymore, Iwaizumi leaned over and rested his forehead against Oikawa's. "Because I wasn't strong enough. I was afraid. I didn't know what my prognosis was yet and I-I just..." Words catching in his throat, Iwaizumi bit his lip as he nuzzled even more into the brunette's hair; loving the familiar silkiness and subtle airy fragrance it carried. "We were fighting a lot and our relationship was already strained enough as it was. I didn't want to add to it."

"For how long were you sick while we were together?"

"A year I think. I found out almost a month after your final knee surgery."

Oikawa breathed a disbelieving laugh. "That long?"

"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi whispered. Needing more contact, he stretched his fingers to tenderly wrap them around the underside of Oikawa's arm. "I didn't know what else to do. I...I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you getting anymore invested in me when I could die from this so I left. But I couldn't do it without telling you why so I left you a letter."

"God you're such a stubborn idiot."

Iwaizumi laughed as tears began to roll down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing so much."

"Fine then I'm not sorry."

They both laughed. Despite how heavy it all was and how the world seemed to be closing in on them, they were still able to make each other laugh.

Quieting down, Oikawa couldn't tear his gaze away from the cancerous cells. "How long?"

"What? To live?"

Oikawa nodded, still not calm enough to look him in the eyes.

Iwaizumi struggled to find the words and even harder to say them. "Ten years." The words tasted of venom and sorrow. "Maybe fifteen if I'm lucky."

"Only fifteen?"

"That's better than the outlook AML patients had twelve years ago. Who knows, maybe in five years my prognosis will change to twenty years or more." Hands searching for Oikawa's when he felt his body shake with a sob, Iwaizumi nuzzled at the brunette's cheek until he finally lifted his head. "I'm not dead yet so stop crying so much."

"That's not funny," Oikawa sobbed; his face red and eyes glassy with quivering lips struggling to form words.

"Hey," he smiled weakly, moving his hands up--skimming over the familiar rise and slope of Oikawa's shoulders and fair neck before they settled at his jaw where they held his face. "Toru," he spoke even more gently as he used Oikawa's name for the first time in the years since they'd been parted. "Look at me please." After a long minute of quiet sobs and muted whines, their gazes met with deep mellow green pouring into a sea of warm honeyed brown. "It's okay. I'm still here."

"I-Iwa-chan..." Oikawa breathed. It had been years since he had last said those words and it broke his heart as they tumbled from his lips. "I forgive you."

His smile brightened. "Thank you."

"Can..." he stammered before swallowing his words. Licking his lips, Oikawa took a deep breath. "Could we maybe start over?"

"Where? As friends or as partners?"

"Both? Either? I don't know. I just...I just d-don't want to let you go again. It's weird. I hated you this morning and now all I want to do is hold onto you." Oikawa snorted a pitiful laugh. "I must be losing my mind."

"Is this because of the cancer or do you really want to restart?" Iwaizumi teased lightheartedly. He didn't care either way because he had been missing Oikawa all four and a half years that they had been separated. It didn't matter if this sudden burst of clinginess had been borne from his illness. So long as he could hear his voice and see that smile he'd be happy. Chuckling when Oikawa weakly punched his arm, Iwaizumi brought him in for a hug with one hand between the brunette's shoulders and the other cradling his head with fingers tangled in his hair. "Either is fine with me. I just miss you and want to make this work so I'm happy with whatever you choose."

"You're making me pick?"

"You always did before."

"Yeah but this is a big deal. I don't want to be the only one deciding on this Hajime so tell me what you want."

"You," Iwaizumi said plainly as if it were the most natural response. Thumb brushing the beauty mark just below the left corner of Oikawa's lips he continued. "I want you. All of you, I want it. What that means is now for you to decide because I'm the one that left. I'll be thankful for whatever you give so you pick Toru."

Oikawa could feel himself falling into those deep pools of moody peridot green that had haunted him for so long; could feel the twitch in his fingers as they moved on their own to entangle themselves in Iwaizumi's messy crown of soft raven hair. He knew what he wanted but was it really okay to ask for such a thing when they had broken each other so thoroughly. He could still remember the words he had screamed at Iwaizumi the night before he had disappeared. The anger and venom dripping from his tongue as he told him--without even meaning it--to "go die." Why had he said such a thing? Especially now that he knew Iwaizumi's condition. It was so cruel what he was about to do but he couldn't stop himself. He was tired of being alone; tired of being without Iwaizumi--his Iwai-chan.

"I want you too," he almost whispered; spoke so low his voice was hardly audible. "I need you Iwai-ch--"

His words were ended by the soft gentle press of Iwaizumi's lips against his. Melting into the embrace instantaneously, Oikawa wrapped his arms around the man as fresh tears streamed from his eyes. He had never cried so much in his life. Had never felt this kind of emulsion of relief and fear as their mouths opened and they deepened the kiss. It was bittersweet because there was a timer on their joy. A limit to how long they could be together and even as they held each other, Oikawa could feel Iwaizumi slipping through his fingers. He had to find a way to fix this. Had to find a cure because if he didn't...

"You're shaking," Iwaizumi noted under his breath between kisses.

"I'm just happy."

"Is that it?"

Of course Iwaizumi knew there was more to it. He was a living lie-detector. "No but I don't want to talk about it yet. Let's just have this moment, 'kay?"

"'Kay." Kissing Oikawa's temple, Iwaizumi held him close with a sigh. "I missed you so much."

"Me too," the brunette admitted with hands knotting into the fabric of his partner's shirt and the short hairs at the back of his head. With a trembling breath, Oikawa closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you Hajime."

"I love you too." Grip tightening around Oikawa, he closed his eyes. "We'll make it out of this together, okay. I promise."

"Really?"

Iwaizumi nodded.

"And what happens if you break your promise?"

"Then you can drag me back into the world of the living and kick my ass."

Oikawa smirked. "Sounds fair enough."

"Yeah, yeah," Iwaizumi muttered with a peaceful smile while he nestled into the warm crook of Oikawa's neck.

Combing a hand through Iwaizumi's hair, Oikawa could not stop the gentle curling at the edges of his lips as he felt the life return to him. "Stay with me tonight."

Iwaizumi just nodded with a kiss to the brunette's neck as his reply.

"Stupid Iwa-chan."

He smiled. "Shittykawa."


	3. Derezzed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _system_error_code/403c..._   
>  _/hyperion_channel_failure/400101; fc_gauge_failure//_   
>  _/fc_designation_0010100013-flux_capacitor//_   
>  _remote_access: denied_   
>  _deep_dive_access_request: permission granted_   
>  _MCP_system_user: iwaizumi, hajime_

Lacing up the kinked and faded white laces of his running shoes, Sugawara mumbled along to the music playing over the earpods that he had wedged into his ears after getting out of the shower that morning. He couldn't understand why but it felt as if the pleasant silence that usually ebbed away around ten o'clock was lingering a little longer that morning. Something was off. Not that anything was wrong or there was urgent business he was forgetting; that was Daichi's schtick. No, it was just quieter than usual and Suga rarely enjoyed things that were out of the ordinary.

Stepping out onto the porch in his old college volleyball shorts, a white t-shirt, and his favorite sneakers, Daichi took a long moment to appreciate the sight in front of him. No matter how many years they spent together or how many nights passed with them wrapped together in a state of hysteric bliss, he would always adore that youthful air Suga maintained regardless of his age. He was just as beautiful as the day they had met--the sun shining high and bright, pouring its honeyed rays onto the blonde as he stood in the courtyard of their high school looking at the class listing on the board to see where his homeroom was. Those curious delving hazel eyes that always looked more golden in the light. That milky skin that was oddly soft to the touch and faintly smelt of the sea breeze. The bright smile that glittered whenever he laughed. Despite the ways their lives had changed--how they had gone from strangers to friends to teammates and at last lovers--nothing about Sugawara had changed.

Shoving away from the doorpost he was leaning against, Daichi wrapped his arms around his husbands waist as Suga stood up. Burying his face in the crook of his neck, the brunette inhaled deeply, allowing his mind to become drunk off the scent of his warm skin. He couldn't imagine having to live without him. Knew he wouldn't make it if he were told to try. Daichi's family was his world and Suga was the crux of it all; the king at the center of his everything. Smiling happily when the blonde turned his head to kiss his temple, Daichi gave his partners neck a playful bite followed up with a tender kiss.

"So sentimental," Sugawara teased with a murmur though he didn't pull away. Instead he sank into the embrace; tilting his head enough to give Daichi more space while placing his own hands over the coppered forearms of his husband. "What're you thinking about?"

"Mmm," Daichi hummed with eyes closed. "Our first day of freshman year. I was completely thrown off when I saw you standing there looking like some character out of a storybook."

"Are you saying you thought I was pretty?" Suga smirked. He already knew the answer; had been told hundreds upon thousands of times how lovely Daichi thought he was. But he loved hearing it; revelled in the praise that came from his partner.

"You were stunning," Daichi admitted the way he did everytime without hesitation. "I'd never seen a man like you. Hell, I didn't know guys could be beautiful until I saw you."

"Hmm, I recall you once saying that Oikawa was pretty for a guy." Wait, that was what was different. Usually, Toru would already be jogging by their place at this time. He and Suga always ran together in the morning and sometimes, when he was aching from work, Daichi would join them.

"I said he was alright for a guy. There's a difference."

"Hmmm, I see. Speaking of, where is he? It's not like Oikawa to be late?"

"Maybe he's not feeling well. He's been a little off for the last couple of weeks and you know how he gets when he's sick."

"Mmm, I don't know. It's just off."

Daichi sighed, kissed Suga's shoulder, then pulled away. "He'll be fine Koshi. If it bothers you that much we can swing by his place after our run. 'Kay?"

"Fine."

"Good," the brunette smirked then gave a playful pat to his husbands ass. "Let's get going then."

\--------------------------------------------------------

Light spilling in as morning crept away and gave way to the early afternoon, Oikawa stirred under the blankets bundled up around him. Gently and lovingly he was removed from the hearth of his dreams. Toes of another tracing the soles of his while fingers wove together with his, he could feel the strong steady breathing of his bedmate as their chest expanded then dipped with the exhale--the breath tickling the back of his neck making the baby fine hairs stand up only to be pushed back down by the press of smooth lips.

Oikawa knew this person. The more the veil of sleep was peeled back, the more earnestly his senses ignited, catching the things they didn't before like the faint yet crisp familiar scent of warm cotton emanating from the person lying next to him. He didn't have to open his eyes to know their face because it was one Oikawa had dreamt of so many times before. The quiet lonely nights he'd spend in bed staring at the ceiling waiting for time to pass always ended with him seeing the man's face on the white wall above him before his eyes closed and sleep took him.

He could have cried in that moment; may have if Iwaizumi didn't pull him in closer, held him tighter, and kissed the spot behind Oikawa's ear. Despite the time that had passed and the pain they had gone through, they still had their habits and kissing the back of Oikawa's ear was one of Iwaizumi's. It was something he didn't even think about--just did it because either his heart or body or both compelled him to do so. Following that he would press in closer as if he were a flower leaning into the sunshine and leach off of the brunette's warmth with a dreamy smile tugging happily at his cheeks. Oikawa could feel it now as Iwaizumi's lips curved against the skin of his neck.

It was such a precious moment--so much so that Oikawa thought he was dreaming again. It wouldn't be the first time he had woken to a scene like this only to bolt awake and find that it was all in his head. Loneliness and misery had a way of tormenting their victims in the cruelest of ways that struck at the very heart of their troubles and dug up memories that inflicted the most pain. And before the breakup, Oikawa would often wake up happily tangled in Iwaizumi's arms. The sensation of his body heat as the man completely enveloped him was so clear in his mind yet felt so distant, he wasn't sure if what he was experiencing was real or make believe.

Rolling onto his other side he was greeted by a sea of peridot green--vibrant and gleaming like the hills of his hometown during the spring. ' _He's real_ ,' Oikawa smiled, the palms of his hands holding Iwaizumi's face in them as he fought to hold onto his tears. ' _You're real. You really came back to me_.' Caught somewhere between joy and disbelief, he choked out a laugh as the tears began to streak across his cheeks. He had fought so hard to keep himself together; to stop himself from falling apart at the seams when nothing seemed to be going right. Sobs cracking his facade, Oikawa cried as Iwaizumi kissed his cheeks, his nose, eyes, and forehead. It had been so hard--so unbearable living without his other half that it were as though the devil had come and stole half of his soul without means or cause. He had grown accustomed to the pain. Had learned to live with the separation but never truly felt much joy because he had lost his heart the day Iwaizumi left. Had watched as it was shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

Now that he had his heart back--now that he could feel again, he didn't know what to do with himself. He couldn't get a grip on his crying or calm down because everything that had been asleep for the last four and half years was waking up all at once. Welling up like a great flood, he crumpled in the arms of the only person he had ever loved; to only person he _could_ ever love. The meaningless fights, the bickering back and forth, every lie he had ever told both grand and megger, the words he had spoken the night before Iwaizumi had left. It was all too much to hold onto. Yes, Oikawa had been forgiven and had extended his reconciliation to Iwaizumi--settling both their grievances. Yet even still, he didn't feel as if he had said enough to express how remorseful he felt; how sorry he was that he had said "go die" without thinking about the impact it could have.

"I'm s-so sorry I-Iwa-chan," Oikawa cried, his trembling fingers knotting the fabric of Iwaizumi's white shirt as his tears stained his chest. "I didn't mean it that night. I...I didn't know t-that you were sick a-and I said it without thinking. God, I fucked up so bad."

"It's okay," Iwaizumi spoke gently as if he were handling a skittish animal. Holding him closer, he kissed the brunette sweetly on the shell of his ear. "I knew you didn't know I was sick. I know you didn't mean what you said that night. Well, the 'go die' part. The rest I've forgotten about to be honest."

"But I haven't forgotten," he countered. "I remember it all, everything we said and I was so cruel and unmoving. I should have listened. I should h--"

"Stop it Toru." Moving a hand up to frame Oikawa's face, Iwaizumi forced him to look up. Thumbing away the tears that were still falling, he swallowed the seed of guilt in his gut that was telling him he was the reason the brunette was feeling so much pain. True, he was part of the cause--his portion increasing when he told Oikawa about his diagnosis. But he wasn't the only source of his agony. "It's all in the past. Whatever was said, however we hurt each other, it's all done and can't be undone. But this," he paused, heart aching when he saw the plea in his beautiful earthen eyes, "this moment and what comes after it, that we can control. Whatever happened before doesn't have to happen again. I don't plan on letting go of you again."

"And I don't want to let you go Hajime."

"Then hold onto me. Tell me what you're thinking when you're thinking it," Iwaizumi smiled softly as he pressed their foreheads together. "I'm not a mind reader so you have to talk to me and be honest about what you're feeling. No more bottling things up anymore, 'kay?"

Oikawa nodded with a sniffle. "I promise. But you can't keep secrets anymore especially if it's something like having AML."

"I promise, no more secrets."

"Swear it."

Iwaizumi chuckled. "I swear."

"You know this means I'm going to be more clingy than before."

"That's fine."

"Really? I don't think you understand how much I was holding back."

"And I don't think you understand how much I don't care," Iwaizumi laughed as they shifted until he was on his back and Oikawa was lying partially on top of him. Smiling dreamily as if he were about to fall back asleep, he sighed. "I want you to want me as much as I want you," he sighed, muttering the last part as he soaked in the warmth emanating from his partner.

Unable to stop the blush or the shy smile from dusting his cheeks, Oikawa rested his head atop Iwaizumi's chest--his ear right over his heart. It was all so miraculous--Iwaizumi coming back, them clearing the air between them, and reuniting as lovers. He would not have been able to imagine it even if he had tried. Oikawa was so used to losing in the game of love--had bombed horribly when he and Iwaizumi had their falling out. But there they were, intertwined while whispering promises between kisses. It was a beautiful gift. A redo because their history warranted a better conclusion than what they had been given. There wasn't anyway they could leave things the way they had ended four years ago. No. This time they would do things right. This time, Oikawa wasn't going to give up. He wasn't going to shutdown when times were rough or push Iwaizumi away. This time he was going to the the man Iwaizumi deserved. This time he was going to let him in even if it was frightening and he wouldn't turn back.

Head gently bumping into Iwaizumi's chin, Oikawa peeked up at the man from where he was nestled--hidden in the tousled blankets and sheets that gathered 'round them. Breath catching in his throat when a hand came up to comb through his hair, the brunette felt his heart race--pulse leaping ahead as his fingers itched to reach out and touch the dream laid out before him. He did not know or care if it was the distance that had made Iwaizumi appear more handsome or if he had actually changed during their time apart--either way he didn't care. Didn't care what laid ahead of them or how horribly painful and devastating it was going to be when those fifteen years ran out. Didn't care because the only thing he could see in that moment were those haunting green eyes. He could only hear Iwaizumi's voice as it said his name and feel those attentive fingers as they combed through his hair.

Moving until he was blanketed over Iwaizumi with his arms supporting him as he gazed down at the man, Oikawa drank in the sight--committed every detail to memory because some day they'd be... Dismissing the thought from his head, the brunette leaned in until their noses bumped and lips brushed. He could feel Iwaizumi's pulse quickening against his own rapid heartbeat. Could sense the heat creeping up beneath his honeyed skin and see the desire in his eyes; the same desire that was undoubtedly visible in his gaze.

Oikawa shivered when Iwaizumi took the initiative and smoothed both hands down his sides then up and under his sleeping shirt; bit back a whimper as they swept over the elegant slope of his spine then slid back down to the dimples at the base of his back. Body reacting out of instinct, he rolled his hips forward--breathing a heavy sigh when he felt the hardening bulge gently rutting into his. Oikawa wasn't sure if they should be moving that fast; was uncertain if they were ready to have sex when their emotions were still so raw and everything felt new. He wanted to hold back, to slow down and pace things out but he was touch-starved. He craved Iwaizumi like a junkie hankering for a fix and it was driving him mad.

"H-Hajime," he whispered as his partner kissed and sucked at his exposed neck. 

Arms giving just enough to lower him to his elbows, Oikawa tangled his fingers in the thick wild hair of Iwaizumi's crown. Tugging at the lockes as his partner nipped the sensitive skin below his Adam's apple, the brunette moaned low as they continued the gentle rocking of their hips. It had been so long since he had last been held like this. So long since Iwaizumi--not anyone else--had taken him because Iwaizumi was the only person that could have him. He had always been his. From the very beginning before either of them understood what their relationship would mean later on, they had always belonged to one another. It was why their names completed each other and why they were separated by a month and not a year. They weren't two sides of the same coin. They were more than that. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were perfect mirrors of one another--the same person, the same soul, split in two and placed in different vessels. The only way they could exist without suffering was to be together.

Closing the distance between them because he couldn't stand another moment of it, Oikawa brought their lips together with little shyness. Lips parting almost instantaneously, his soul cried out for joy as the familiar taste of Iwaizumi's tongue flooded his senses. It was a soft sweet taste with a saltiness that reminded him of the sea-salt caramel ice cream they used to eat as children. Rolling his hips harder,Oikawa relished the breathy moan it illicited from Iwaizumi. Loved how hurried his hands were now as they unabashedly slipped under the band of his boxers and squeezed the swell of his ass. Adored how childlike Iwaizumi looked as he impatiently stripped Oikawa of his t-shirt then sat up so that the brunette could do the same to him.

"Don't stop Hajime," Oikawa urged as his partner removed their boxers. "Don't stop until I'm hoarse from screaming your name."

Iwaizumi snorted a short laugh then looked at the brunette with a lopsided grin. "You never did know when to take it easy."

Oikawa kissed him briefly before flashing him a mischievous smile. "If you're gonna hit it, do it until it breaks, right?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"One hundred percent." Kissing him again, he trailed up to Iwaizumi's ear where he sweetly nipped at his lobe. "I want you Hajime. Please, let me have you."

"You've already got me." Smile growing as the warmth between them bloomed, Iwaizumi craned his head up and kissed the brunette long and slow. "Prettykawa," he spoke between pecks, "I've always been yours."

"You've never called me that before."

"Not out loud I haven't."

Fighting back the blush rising in his cheeks, Oikawa hummed as they laid together--naked and unashamed. "You think I'm pretty."

"Yeah," Iwaizumi admitted immediately without hesitation. Why should he hesitate? They promised to be honest with one another and chances were Toru had figured it out years ago that he thought he was pretty. "But it's more than that. You're beautiful Tor--"

Cutting him off mid-sentence because he couldn't handle that kind of flattery when they were naked, Oikawa snuffed out the words with a kiss that was far less shy than he was. Moaning into Iwaizumi's mouth when he reacted by tightening his grip in his hair, the brunette let himself drown in the mounting ecstasy that had slowly begun to build between them. They had waited so long for this. Had dreamt about it for years--craving the touch from one another. Oikawa wanted to get lost in this fever pitch Iwaizumi; to float away and leave his body before the overwhelming pleasure brought him crashing back down to earth. So they held each other close--clung desperately to one another because this moment was theirs. In this brief instance in time, they were eternal.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Tapping his foot in time with the bobbing of his head, Dr. Fields inputted the data he had received from Yamaguchi back in the analytics department. They had just sent four different scenarios for why the Hyperion Channel was misbehaving and the good doctor wanted to clear at least two before Iwaizumi clocked on for the afternoon. The kid had called in a few hours ago asking if he could come in later--mentioning something about reconciling with an old friend which, for anyone who knew Hajime, meant he was with Toru sorting things out. He was the only person Iwaizumi had a strained relationship with so it would make sense. Moreover, because Dale knew who Iwaizumi was with he thought it to be even greater of a reason to give the kid an added two, possibly three hours to himself since the outcome of talking to his former flame would either result in disaster or triumph.

So, to keep the atmosphere Dale had the most upbeat music playlist from his library playing and had a hot pot of coffee at the ready, waiting for Iwaizumi to show up. Bouncing in his swivel chair while mouthing the words to "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra--an old favorite from his youth--the doctor spun around, hopped to his feet, and grooved over to the master console. It was the only computer powerful enough to simultaneously cross-check each and every scenario while comparing them to the current state of the channel's operating system. Earlier that morning Hanamaki had pulled up the coding for the system and the closing code for the dampening valve had been deleted once again; a rather problematic happening that had no explanation for its occurrence.

Stirring his tea with a honey lemon coated spoon with his feet--clad in their Doctor Who slippers--tapping to the beat of the music, Dale gazed up at the screen with a look of consternation as one scenario after another was cleared. He had hoped that Yamaguchi's department would be able to find the bug or at least isolate the possible causes. However, fortune was not in their favor that morning; well, at least it wasn't for the nuclear engineers and physicists.

"Must be a good morning if you're playing Mr. Blue," Iwaizumi stated with a smirk in his tone as he entered the main lab--he heading straight to the coffee pot where he poured himself a cup before joining Dale at the large console. Taking a sip with his eyes on the screen, it didn't take long until his expression changed to match that of his mentors'. "Well that's disappointing. I was hoping Tadashi would be able to pin-point where the problem was stemming from. Guess that plan went sideways."

"It would uh says uh appear so," Dale responded almost as if he were speaking to himself. Folding his arms across his chest, he shifted his stance with a tilt of the head. "If uh says uh the problem isn't part of the primary program mapping then it must uh says uh be part of the deep drive. It's the only part Tadashi didn't have access to."

Iwaizumi sighed. He knew exactly what that meant and wasn't looking forward to it.

"It's uh says uh I can link in just fine Hajime. I uh know uh says uh I know that doing deep dives don't sit well with you physically."

"It's fine, I can do it."

"Hajime, I--"

"I'm doing the dive and that's that." Iwaizumi gave a short sigh when he saw the look of concern Dr. Fields was wearing. The man was like a second father to him. Of course he'd be worried but it couldn't be helped. "Honestly Dale, I'll be fine. The last time you did a dive you weren't right for the rest of the day. I'd rather risk nausea and disorientation on my part then worry about you."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better how?"

Again came that disapproving arch of Dale's brow. Iwaizumi hated it when the doctor did that because he knew it meant a lecture was coming down the pipeline and there'd be no escape. But what was he supposed to do? Let the man link into the deep drive and possibly lose a part of his mental stability for it? This was Iwaizumi's father's system and Iwaizumi's program that were malfunctioning which made this his problem--his responsibility and burden. He was the only person who knew how to navigate the deep drive with ease and was one of three people who were recognized by the MCP; the other two being Dr. Fields and his father, Satoshi who was currently back on Earth working on a new orbital ship for the UN. Faith deflating completely when the last scenario was struck through in red, Iwaizumi finished his coffee while thankful that he hadn't eaten that morning. It would be one less thing for him to throw up when he came back from the deep dive.

"And here I thought this was going to be a quick fix."

"When are the solutions ever quick in science?" Dale chuckled with a quick glance to his pseudo son. "It's uh says uh well I'll go warm up the dive program and get the adapters ready. You uh you didn't eat this morning, did you?"

"Nope."

"Oh good."

Watching briefly as Dale disappeared into the next room where the entry point to the dive chamber was located, Iwaizumi looked back to the screen with a narrowed gaze and a brow arched in disapproval. This was the last thing he wanted to do that afternoon. It wasn't as if the treatment he was undergoing for his AML already made eating easy. There were days when keeping a normal diet plan was difficult and his busy schedule didn't help either. Moreover, because he was so active he had to double his caloric intake to break even. However, after a dive chances of him eating for the rest of the day were slim to none. If he did find himself stable enough to eat something, it'd likely be soup or a fruit smoothie with some supplements added in to replenish what he'd be missing. Clicking his tongue as his perodit eyes glared at the scenarios that had been struck through with red, he conceded and sat his mug down on the countertop by the coffee pot before heading in the same direction Dale had gone.

\-------------------------------------------------

Cringing at the sensation as the back of his neck was wiped clean then coated along the spinal column with a shock resistant gel that was two or so degrees too cold against his flesh, Iwaizumi took in deep measured breaths, counted quietly to five, and exhaled as two assistants worked at their stations on the fringes of the large sterilized room while the third prepared him for the deep dive. Flinching minutely as the woman in her white hazmat suit took his pulse, he stood still when she lifted her Verity device to his forehead and took a quick scan of his neural readings to ensure he was in good mental health and that there were no abnormalities in his nervous system. When the reader pinged with a green light in the top right-hand corner of the screen, the woman let out a small sigh of relief. 

Nearly everyone knew of Iwaizumi's condition and how it could affect him in certain circumstances. It was why the three dive assistants--a doctor, a lab tech, and a systems analyst--were all concerned when Dale told them his colleague would be doing the jump instead of him. But it was the only option they had. The system could cause catastrophic damage if not fixed in time and the good doctor was nearing the end of the viability period--in just another seven years he'd no longer be a candidate to participate in deep dives due to the risk it posed to one's mental integrity.

Following Dr. Caballero to the center of the room, Iwaizumi sat down in the crescent padded chair from which sprout dozens of wires and electrical feeds with adhesive patches attached to the ends of their lines which were swiftly placed across his collarbone and forearms with two pressed to his temples above his ears. Measuring his breaths once more as the dermal swatch at the very top of the nape of his neck was carefully peeled back to reveal two twin ports, Iwaizumi braced himself for what came next. It didn't matter how many times he did a deep dive or how closely they matched the systems frequency to his, he would always get sick afterwards. Sometimes he'd be bedridden for a few days following a jump; the last one putting him out of commission for almost an entire week due to the length of time he spent in connected to the system. With the way things were going, this would likely be similar to his last dive.

"Now uh says uh remember that uh if you need to be evacuated says uh say the magic word and we'll pull you out," Dale reminded Iwaizumi, distracting him as Dr. Caballero finished syncing the leads attached to Iwaizumi with the computer on the other side of the observation port. "You uh do remember the retrieval word, right?"

"Frisbee's," he breathed with a halfhearted chuckle.

"Groovy." Kissing his forehead, something Dale had done as a goodbye since Iwaizumi was little and following his father around JAXA, the doctor smiled with the faintest trace of concern peppering the depths of his warm brown eyes. "Remember, don't panic."

Nodding, Hajime watched from the corner of his eyes as Dale exited the room with one final glance over his shoulder. Now alone in the massive chamber stacked high on its walls with energy channels and reflective white panels, he could feel the anxiety threatening to overtake him. It was always like this whenever he did a jump--it was like that for everyone. Because the system had to physically link with the user the chances of mental collapse and harm were high. But it was the only way to access the master files within Hyperion. Nicknamed "Tartarus," it was the deepest most guarded data stream which contained everything from its creation to the codes needed to completely dismantle the channel. The information was so powerful and, manipulated by the wrong person, destructive that the founders of Atlas entrusted it to Dr. Fields, Iwaizumi, and his father Satoshi. How someone was able to delete a piece of the flux capacitor code was beyond him. But it was now Hajime's job to reset the system manually and input the code remotely through the symbiotic confluence he was strapped into.

Eyes closed as the mechanical arm reached up from the opening in the ground below and the chair rotated back at an angle, Iwaizumi gritted his teeth with a stunted growl as the auxiliary adapters plugged into the ports in his neck. Nerves on fire and head throbbing as the system invaded his mind, he fought to stay level--to keep his vitals normal and not panic as was the natural reaction. Thinking back to that morning when he had woken up to Toru's serene face as he murmured in his sleep Hajime took another deep breath. He could see him now. See those beautiful eyes of deep earthen brown as they opened. Could hear his voice calling his name, smell the familiar scent that clung to his fair skin, and feel the tenderness of his touch. He could taste Toru's kiss on tongue--the lingering sweetness reminding him of what was waiting back home for him.

Memory flashing between the Oikawa from that morning, the one from ten years ago, and the perpetually smiling version that called to him with such fondness, everything began to run together like a flipbook or a film reel on loop. Like the pages of a book fluttering back and forth, he saw every moment they spent together--the good and the bad--flash before his eyes as he held onto the thought of Toru like a light that would guide him home. Everyone that did deep dives had one--a beacon that kept them grounded throughout the process. For Dale it was his childhood memories of star gazing with his family in the cold mountains of Montana. The vividness of the night sky blanketed with hundreds of thousands of stars had always remained so clear in his mind he could paint it if he had the artistic talent. For his father Satoshi, it was the launch of the Chiheisen and the birth of his son. Sometimes he would saddle down with the memory of his wedding or the day he first met Hajime's mother. However, Satoshi's anchor was almost always the Chiheisen.

For Hajime though, it was always Toru. There was never a time when it wasn't him. They had always been together; never thought there'd be a day when they weren't at each other's side. Even when he had been proven wrong--when they had separated and Iwaizumi was left brokenhearted by his own selfish actions, it was still Toru. That impressive unwavering fire that burned deep within the brunette called to him from afar like a lighthouse guiding wayward sailors home. Even now as the electricity surged as synchronization was reached he could feel the pulse beating inside that tethered him to reality. Could sense the red thread tying him to Oikawa and the world outside the channel.

"Welcome back Dr. Iwaizumi," spoke a smooth woman's voice that filled the room yet felt as if it were right in front of him.

Opening his eyes, Hajime glanced around noting the layout. Everything was exactly as it had been the last time he had dived. Around him was a grand cavernous chamber adorned in black glass with neon blue light filling the cracks between the tall lengthwise tiles that reached from the ground to the sky and beyond. Beneath him was the motherboard beneath more glass that was streaked with neon orange every couple of minutes as information passed through the main chamber. There were halls to his left, right, and behind him. In front of him though was Theia, the MCP and physical embodiment of the deep drive. Standing taller than most men at six foot two and dressed in a silver body suit with blue light glimmering through at the seams and her long white hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail, she was just as he remembered--haunting and imposing. The first time he had met the MCP, Iwaizumi couldn't believe his eyes; couldn't comprehend how a computer system could take the form of a human. He had nightmares of her; dreamt that he had somehow gotten stuck in the drive and was now her captive. But then he would wake up and Toru would assure him that it was all a dream. Yet watching her as she watched him in that moment made him second guess what was real and what was false.

"I'm surprised to see you," Theia spoke with a smirk, her faintly glowing lavender eyes regarding him closely behind a veil of thick black lashes. "I was expecting Dale when the system began to malfunction."

"You and I both know that he only has a few more safe dives left in him before he reaches his maximum."

"Yes which is why I was hoping to see him one last time before he leaves the program. I may just be software to you but I can feel. Your father programed me that way after all."

Clearing his throat, Iwaizumi shifted in place--clearly uncomfortable with her attachment to his mentor. "I'll tell Dale you said hello. Now," he paused, his tone becoming more serious, "you mentioned a malfunction."

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyo! Welcome earthlings to Sunshine! Now while this isn't my first rodeo at the Fic Fair it is my first time writing a Haikyuu fanfic so please, keep your comments civilized and constructive in their criticisms if you have any feedback for me. I love hearing from my readers and appreciate your support. Also, ya'll can thank my dear friend Chicalatina449 and her friend for this fic because--without the gentle nudge from them--I wouldn't have had the courage to write this story since I know eons more about space than I do the Haikyuuverse (even though I'm a reader/watcher. LoL.)
> 
> So sit back and enjoy this little story of mine and remember to always keep your head in the clouds and eyes on the stars. You never know what you'll catch flying by. ;-]
> 
> Stay freaky and stay lovely,
> 
> -Mars


End file.
